Psychotherapy/Counselling
"Which psychotherapy or counselling is best for
me?"
The answer is like this: If you have five
psychologists in a room, then you have at least six different opinions
on which is the best way to help people.
The fact of the matter is, that all
psychotherapies or counselling are equally effective given two
important factors. Firstly, at the end of the first or second session,
you should leave with a clear understanding of the
therapeutic/counselling process and how it will work. Secondly, your
understanding of the process should leave you with confidence that this
psychologist can and will help you.
So, from the first or second session you should
have confidence and
clarity about what the psychologist is about to take you through. You
should have it in writing. You should have handouts that clearly
represent what the psychologist told you in your session. You should
have a clear idea of the estimated number of sessions that
are required to help you effectively.
The aim of any system of Psychotherapy or
Counselling is to reduce symptoms and to remove obstacles to progress
in life, not to change your personality. The process, in most cases
need only take around 8 to 16 weekly one-hour sessions, with homework
completed in between sessions.
Psychotherapy literally means "treatment for the
mind". Rather than a drug, the treatment is the process of taking-on
effective strategies and skills to manage life's challenges more
effectively and to remove any obstacles to your progress in life.
The days of endlessly analysing your childhood or
sitting around merely complaining to a paid listener are long gone.
Expect to be an active participant in the therapeutic processes. There
will be homework.
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Insight sometimes comes to us as a fleeting
glimpse. For example, you notice that you are repeating
similar patterns in your current relationship and/or repeating similar
patterns across different and/or past relationships.
These patterns can be difficult to see clearly
when you are in the middle of them, and often awareness
comes when reflecting back in time over your current
relationship, or reflecting back on past relationships.
People frequently seek help from a psychologist
when they suspect that they are in the process of repeating old
patterns in their current relationship, or after a relationship ends,
and they would like to learn from their experiences and create
healthier interactions in relationships to come.
These recurrent patterns or themes in
relationships typically happen outside your awareness, often unfolding
relatively subtly and gradually. This can make it difficult to detect
your own contributions to your patterns, to understand underlying
causes, and to work out how to change.
Often, one or both partners is looking for a
quick-fix. Dr Lloyd says that this is unrealistic and ultimately
damaging. Couples who are looking for a quick-fix usually end up going
from one psychologist to another, or just giving up, without ever
gaining satisfaction.
Each partner needs to
attend individuals sessions. Quite likely, each individual
will need to attend four to eight sessions each. Once the individual
sessions are complete, regardless of how many are required, then both
partners should attend joint sessions as required.
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